Jokes of the day?

An Atheist in the Woods

An atheist was walking through the woods.

"What majestic trees!"
"What powerful rivers!"
"What beautiful animals!"
He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. A 7-foot grizzly bear charging towards him.

The man ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left and raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!".

Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. "You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light and said, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?"

"Very Well", said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."

Let's talk about potong zaka

I came across a funny story which I received from from my friend via email.Let me share with you all today.

Two old friends  - a Chinaman and a Malay were having a conversation recently ....

APek : Lu potong zaka ada bagut  ka?
Ali     : Manyak bagut. Bila lu potong haa lu punya barang manyak bersih loo...
Apek : ?!! err ... saya kawan ada cakap, potong zaka aaahh.... manyak ploblem..
Ali     : Apa problem ?
Apek : Manyak buang lui, lagi aahh .. dia punya performance tatak bagut...manyak cinang semputloh...
Ali     : Cehh... apek, lu apa celita... saya suda lama potong...tada apa problem... bini saya manyak puas 
           woo...
Apek : Lu mini puas sama itu potong zaka ka?
Ali     : Ya laa. Bila lu potong aahh... lagi sedap maen woo.. lu lagi lambat pancut..
Apek : ???!!! err... lu punya 1.3 atau 1.5??
Ali     : ??!! woi apek cakap baik2 sikit ha .. saya punya 6 inci laa..
Apek : ??! Tiu nia ma... lu jgn maen2 haa.. mana ada potong zaka 6 inci..
Ali     : Cilaka apek ni...nah tengok (opens his trousers)
Apek : Chee sin punya olang.....gua tanya baik2 ... lu tunjuk lu punya lanchiau..
Ali     : Abis... lu tarak percaya..saya tunjuk la..
Apek : Saya tatak tanya sama lu punya lanchiau... Saya tanya lu pasal itu nasional car... potong        zaka..
Ali     : Aiya... apek... lain kali lu sebut betul2 la....kasi susasaja.. Bukan potong zaka la....protonsaga....

Let's have a laugh

After long struggling whole day,let's take a break before back to our work.Here is the  joke which I obtained from joke site.

Q & A

Q : Why are dumb blonde jokes are so short?
A : So brunettes can remember them.

Q : What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A : You pick it up, pull the pin and throw it back.
 
Q : What happen to the blonde tap dancer?
A : She slipped off and fell down the drain.

Q : How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A : The joystick is wet.

Q : What's the quickest way to get into a blonde's pants?
A : Pick them up off the floor.

Q : Why don't blondes play frisbee?
A : It hurts their teeth.

Q : What do you call blonde with half a brain?
A : Gifted!

Q : How do blonde braincells die?
A : Alone.

Q : Why don't blondes eat bananas?
A : They cannot find the zipper.

Q : How did the blonde try to kill the fish?
A : She tried to drown it.

Q : What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?
A : Not everyone has been in 747.

www.jokesgallery.com

I am late again...~

Having my eyes opened wide while stretching my body on the bed this morning, the time was already 0757am~~What a shock to me~~I got a class which would start at 8am.Oh gosh~~~Jumping down from the bed while scratching hard my head wondering why I could not wake up again..This is the second time in this week I was late for class~~I had a miss call when I looked at my phone and I was so sure that was my friend who had been waiting me to go to campus.I did not pick up as I knew that I was sleeping soft and sound during that time.>__<.Another friend of mine, sent me a message and asking me where I was about...Immediately,pull up my long pants and changing my round neck shirt,I grabbed my wallet, my student tag which I hate most which is compulsory to allow into the campus and searching unsystematically for my notes to be put into my bag,straight away i start off my car and picked my friend up.Rushing so badly for the class,I was stopped by the guard who was standing right in front of the entrance and checked for our Id and car plate number if it matched with the car sticker.I was waiting impatiently and I thought if I dare to pull my accelerator hard to flung him to the air as I was already late..LOL...luckily i did not do that or I will be seeing him in next generation..LOL..Parking nicely at the unshaded car park which I reluctantly want to but no choice, stepping out from the car and walk as fast as I can while my friend followed from behind..We have to passed through the block H before we reached our destination in block I.I saw a woman in the lecture hall who had just plugged in her pendrive to copy the slides into the pc.That was our lecturer Ms M.After teaching some of the materials she brought she asked us to come out with a communication diagram based on the example given in the notes.Just a little boring during the lecture was conducted however,I still can gain full concentration today as I slept more than 8 hours just for today.>_<.Well,I think I need to stop my craps here..Hehe..

Apple iPad

After long waiting for the high tech device to launch since last year,finally it has released and its design is fantastic.With its unique design large multi touch screen it looks elegant.It is best used for viewing emails,watching videos and photos as it has a large screen which give advantages to this gadget.It features a split screen which allows you to read the emails and has an expansive onscreen keyboard which makes it more unique.Moreover, it has many applications like YouTube app which makes you to find videos easily, calendar app where you can record down any special days or important appointments in this gadget,iTunes app which allows you to download over million of songs,movies and shows and buying a song just a tap away from your fingertips.Here are some few screenshots of the iPad.^_^

There are a lot more functionalities to offer for this iPad.For more info you can visit this link -> http://www.apple.com/ipad/features/

iPad was well received by many customers when it was launched few days ago even there are some initial problems such as overheating and connectivity.The iPad is also known as "The Year of The Tablets".It is very light weight hence leads to ultra-portability of a height of 9.56 inches (242.8 mm, a width of 7.47 inches (189.7 mm), depth of 0.5 inch (13.4 mm) and weight of 1.5 pounds (0.68 kg) Wi-Fi model and 1.6 pounds (0.73 kg) Wi-Fi + 3G model. As we see all the major functions which are required by most of the users nowadays can be obtained from this gadget,I believe it will hit strong in the IT market.Even though we cannot compare this gadget with the home PC which is more powerful in terms of processing speeds,storage and better graphics,however,,its ultra-portability features will strongly attracts the customers especially to those who are always bringing laptop on the go.

Singapore trip day 2(Part 1)

Hai everyone....let's bump back to my trip in Singapore..(Day 2).I still remember we woke up early in the morning as early as 7am just to take sometime to clean ourself up and went for breakfast.Guess what,we ate at  food court which is much more cleaner than what we eat at our place..Each stall displays the grade for hygienic purpose..Of course, our stalls here also has this kinda thing.But their grade A and our grade A here is much difference..lol.

I stopped at one of the stall and ordered plain porridge which is managed by "cool" aunty..no smile, she looks like "bao ching tian"..=__=.However,there were lotsa people queueing just for the sake of porridge..Seems like I had chosen a right store even though da service was not that good..hmm..When my turn came,she took a medium size bowl and poured some porridge into it.

As I saw her pouring porridge,it made my saliva drooling down my throat to the max.My empty stomach which had been craving for food so much since early in the morning was driving me crazy for it.>_<..As I putting in the porridge into my mouth,satisfying my stomach,I felt so great..Adding in with nice and smooth desert of "tau fu fa" ,I felt that my satisfaction is at max level..

Singapore trip day 1 Part 2

Well,let's move on to Singapore trip day 1 part 2.It was a hot and rainy afternoon.After finished visiting Jurong Bird Park,watching talented penguins swimming, and taking all the nice pix with my family,we went to next destination, Buddha Tooth Relic Temple for pray pray lo...erm,nothing much to describe lo..just go there viewed the Buddha statue, and donated some money..

Actually, the Buddha Tooth Relic Temple is located in Chinatown Heritage Center.Chinatown here almost like the Petaling Street we saw in KL but however, it has its own unique stuff selling there..we bought several keychains, mini merlion statue and had some drinks while we were walking.It was quite tiring that day,because it was a free and easy day for about 4 hours~~OMG,I wish I could find some nice place to take a rest..Leaving all of us walking under the hot sun was suffering and so boring...Nothing much to shop there..Most of the shops are selling the same stuffs while several stalls also selling the same kinda drinks and junk food.

However,we walked in one of the shop there and we found most of the China antiques were displayed.

I am sure most of the youngster never c this kinda camera before.^^

But this camera is a newer version one lo.The oldest one uses 1 light bulb for 1 photo.^^

This ancient pipe opium which is 50cm long is used by ancient people who smokes.

The round shape like a coin is a button which is sewn on "samfu" or "chengsam".

I was pretty amazed with all kinda tiny stuff which needs fine skill to do that.Imagine now that,even a simple button is made by the machine.Seems like ancient people is very skillful than now..^^

Hand made ancient "bottle"(cantonese call Wu Lou)..I also duno call wat lo...i just know it is made of copper..hehe

Ancient lamp a.k.a oil lamp, which has wick to produce light.I used to have one last time but duno go where liao..^_^..As I remember,mine one just a simple oil lamp without any decoration at the bottom like what is shown in the pic above.

Kettle...My shadow was there..Scary laaa..

See the papers with variety colors?That is the game card.I am wondering how to play..

Quite interested with it..^_^

Well, duno what is written on the wall...But,base on the pic, it seems like dim sum restaurant

But,however,the table and the chair remind me of Kopitiam.^_^

It was about 6pm, the time which we should leave as being told by the tour guide.I had waited this for so so long as my empty stomach already asking me to stop walking around..We were brought to Singapore famous street,Orchard Road,whereby the parade will hold.Along the road,we saw Ion Orchard shopping center,Orchard Center, Takashimaya,ISetan and a lot more.I just remember a few.

We were separated into few groups and walked on our own.We stopped at ISetan to take our dinner.We ordered, char siu rice with add on a bowl of Dumplings.It is rather cheap to eat there.(Don't conver la ok.).Just about SGD4.50..Total up with drinks was about SGD28 for four persons.Due to my stomach calling me not to stop filling in,I ordered one more bowl of dumplings.Sadly, the seller listened wrongly to me instead of a bowl for four, he made four bowls..I was like...WAT THE.... tuuut...tuuut....I paid for the bill which cost me SGD24..=__+..My pocket was left with a big hole and seriously wounded..=__+..I told myself....SHOPPING DAY is gone~~~~. (SGD28 + SGD24) multiply with 2.47...Omg...Don wan to see the figure..make me sick..+__=